Shadow Work for Fear of Abandonment
“I have a deep dark fear of abandonment”
Triggered Feeling:
An overwhelming worry that people close to you will leave.
Acknowledge Your Shadow:
When your fear of abandonment shadow is triggered it often ignites either an anxious or avoidant attachment.
Avoidant behavior signs:
Creating distance from a partner
Withdrawing from a situation that feels threatening
Changing the subject whenever asked to express how you feel
Anxious behavior signs:
Constant need for reassurance
Always in fear of rejection or being left
Believing no one cares about your feelings
To integrate this shadow you must first understand your FOA shadow is triggered NOT because of the act itself, but because it is how you will FEEL if you are abandoned.
You are actually trying to escape from a painful feeling that abandonment will cause (cue anxious/avoidant behavior).
⬆️ This relates to an early abandonment trauma. Scroll down to practice the first steps of integration.
FREE Heal Your Abandonment Downloadable Workbook
A workbook designed to guide you to reconcile past pain, deepen your understanding of the autonomic nervous system& your unique survival mode state, while providing self-regulating tools to truly let go & trust yourself fully again.
Steps to Integrate:
Explore the following questions in your journal:
When you think of being abandoned how does it feel?
When have you felt these same feelings before? What incident in your past does it remind you of?
What did you make this event mean about you? (I'll always be left, no one cares about me, or I'm easy to forget)
Is this story 👆 you have about yourself true or is it just an interpretation?
Your challenge is to recognize that your interpretations are not facts - feelings are not facts.
Feelings are individual perceptions of the event.
What do you need in order to heal from this event?
What wisdom can you contribute to the world if that event might not have ever happened?
Until next week,
Jordan
