Do You Struggle with Seeking Constant Validation?
Rejection strikes at one of our most fundamental human needs — the need to feel accepted, valued, and to belong.
This fear activates powerful insecurities and self-doubts.
To avoid this potential pain, our psyche unconsciously employs protective mechanisms like desperately seeking validation from others.
However, this creates a vicious cycle. 🔁
The more we seek external validation to fill an inner void and silence our insecurities, the more we reinforce our self-worth being contingent on others' approval.
We become dependent on getting that continual validation fix to feel okay about ourselves.
Validation-Seeking: Masking the Fear of Rejection
At its core, the incessant need for validation is really just the shadow of our fear of rejection being expressed outwardly.
We are trying to avoid feelings of rejection at all costs because of how deeply it threatens our fundamental sense of self-worth and belonging.
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Begin Healing: Increase Self-Awareness
Your fear of rejection is operating unconsciously.
Until you bring conscious awareness to when the fear arises and how it manifests in your life, it remains an unexamined, shadowy force driving your behaviors and emotions from behind the scenes.
Rejection Insights Journal
1) Get a small notebook to carry with you or create a note on your notes app on your phone.
2) Throughout your day, make a habit of pausing periodically to check in with yourself emotionally and physically. Signs that the fear of rejection may be arising:
- Tightness in your chest/stomach
- Mind going to worst-case scenarios
- Avoiding situations or people
- Intense desire for validation/approval
3) When you notice any of those signs, make a note in your journal describing:
- The situation you were in
- Thoughts/stories running through your mind
- Physical sensations you felt
- Behaviors you did (or didn't do) as a result
4) Also note what may have initially triggered those rejection fears - an interaction, criticism, being excluded, etc.
5) Over time, you'll start to see patterns emerge of specific situations, thoughts, or self-talk that commonly activate your rejection sensitivity.
6) Review your journal at the end of each week to gain insights into core rejection fears, insecurities, and outdated beliefs fueling the fear.
This self-monitoring practice builds awareness.
Simply observing when the fears arise, without judgment, helps bring them from the subconscious into the conscious light where they can be worked with more directly. xx
