Why You Want Your Old Fling to Reach Out
We'll focus on the first crucial step of my shadow work methodology.
Awareness
Begin recognizing the patterns in your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, so you can start making connections between past experiences and your present-day reality.
Grab Your Journal
Why do you want your old situationship to reach out? (attention, reconciliation, closure, etc)
Insert [your desire from above] and understand there is a Part of you subconsciously seeking for that.
The reason this Part is seeking whatever you're in desire of, like attention, is because it received enough of it from your situationship to dictate your behavior now.
The tricky thing is, that situationship most likely wasn't a good match for you.
To avoid going back to someone who does not serve you, you need to learn how to validate that Part of you who is seeking what you desire from someone else.
Learn to Validate Yourself
What is triggering your desire to reach out to your old situationship? (did they move on? block you on socials? are you feeling insecure?)
What thoughts or actions do you find yourself turning to when you feel the urge to reach out to your old situationship? (fantasizing about the connection or minimizing past pain )
How do you typically cope with or manage these feelings? (avoid, distract, act on them, etc.)
Your answers to these journal prompts will provide insights into a cycle that you're stuck in that's not allowing you to validate yourself.
It might look like:
When I search my old situtationship on Instagram and I see they moved on, I want to reach out.
I think about how well we got along and how good the s*x was. I forget about all the bad memories and reach out to them with the hope they remember me the same way.
Really what you're saying is:
You feel rejected.
Instead of sitting with the discomfort of not being chosen, you reach out to soothe yourself.
Ready to Embark on Your Shadow Work Journey?
Learn more about my 8-week metamorphic membership where pain, shame, & low self-worth are transformed into the light.
The beauty in becoming aware of your cycle is it's the first step in validating that Part of yourself because you're finally acknowledging your behaviors.
