Do You Feel Unloveable?
This blog is from my weekly series ‘Shadow Confessions’ of anonymous disclosures revealing others' deepest secrets & hidden feelings.
Within this offering, you will see yourself in others, learn how to acknowledge your shadow & receive practical tips so your shadow no longer handicaps your potential.
“I fear ending up alone because I’m too ‘difficult’ or ‘demanding’. I attract emotionally unavailable people & seem not to be attracted to the ‘good guys’”
Triggered Feeling:
Unloveable — with limiting beliefs of being too difficult and too demanding.
Acknowledge Your Shadow:
Feeling unloveable stems from past experiences simply because when you were born you did not enter the world with this belief.
In fact, you had endless love to receive and give, up until people and experiences shaped how you perceived yourself and the world. Fear of being unloveable looks like:
Feeling fundamentally bad (i.e. difficult, demanding) in a way that makes you believe it's impossible for another person to love you
Attracting partners (i.e. emotionally unavailable) that reinforce this belief of being unloveable
Using desirability to justify blocking yourself from experiencing 'good' partners
Experiencing gaslighting from past partners where they told you that you are unworthy of love, or that no one else will want you or treat you better
Steps to Integrate:
Journal + take action on the following prompts to integrate your unloveable shadow.
Does this belief serve me? Does believing "I'm unlovable" lead me toward the life I want, or away from it?
Say "I'm unloveable" out loud and write down the emotions that arise for you (sad, angry, confused, spacey, etc.)
What needs of mine feel unmet right now? If your emotion is sadness, you might notice a need for social connection that isn't being met, a need for laughter, or a need for being appreciated.
Ask yourself or a close friend for something that will meet your unmet need
Social connection - invite a friend to coffee
Rest - take a guilt-free 20-minute nap today
Laughter - text a friend & ask them what made them laugh today
Physical touch - after a warm shower massage your skin with a yummy oil
Until next week,
Jordan
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You Deserve to be Seen, Heard, & Loved
Understand why you attract toxic partnerships, explore what shadows keep you from manifesting your ideal partner, and level up your self-worth to magnetize your match.
